Ask HN: My father died and I need to find my path
It's been 38 days and 6 hours since my father passed away. I was let go from my internship during the last month we spent at the hospital. I went to the hospital in tears and poured my heart out to my father. He told me something I can still hear ringing in my ears: "If, when I took the university entrance exam, I had the opportunity to get into the best university in the country, believe me, I would study day and night to get in. I'd find some way, study hard, and get in. Your profession matters so much. Having a good profession is crucial for your family's comfort and future." Those words became a pearl earring in my ear. After saying this, he kept giving me advice to pull me away from the uncertain path I was on.
And now he's gone. For the past two years, I've been studying electrical and electronics engineering in my country (Turkey), and this semester I noticed that my interest in computer engineering has surpassed everything else. So I've decided to transfer, and with God's permission, I'll be switching to computer engineering next year — but I still don't know how I should navigate this field. I don't know which technologies I should learn. There are times when I even wonder whether I should switch at all. My fears have started to grow that by the time I graduate, AI will have replaced everyone. [1]
If my father were here, I'd ask him. He'd find the best path for me, and I'd trust that it was truly the best. But he's not here anymore, and I'm alone. Along with my family, we're carrying on with our lives.
This summer, my father was going to find me an internship — that's what I kept telling myself. I had no worries at all back then, but right now I feel like I'm drifting in a void, and I need someone to show me a path. I thought maybe someone on this forum could point me in a direction. My father's words keep echoing in my ears, and I want to have a good profession, just like he said. Maybe you can help me.
[1] https://ai-2040.com/?choices=plan-a-root#playbook-insider-pov
Text was translated from Turkish with GLM-5.2
Your difficulty may be rooted in psychology.
Many do not like discussing “psychological temperaments” because they are not “scientific enough”, though you yourself are of a culture who can recognize that even science does not adequately explain everything.
By standards of psychological temperament, it would seem that your father was “introspective” and you are “extrospective”. In brief, those who are “introspective” live life referring to a map within themselves, and those who are extrospective look to external signs for their bearings. As we are social creatures, it is not unusual for ourselves (and our families) to have mixtures of psychological temperaments as they complement and cover for one and other.
You should not be too worried about getting the right technology or specific focus. You should worry about being competent and diligent. Keep yourself organized, follow through, don’t give up even if you aren’t sure. Especially if you aren’t sure. Check the market, look for the statistical average and also the leading edge. Focusing on the average is job security, focusing on the edge is a bit more exciting and specialized, if you are an overachiever. If you’re not an overachiever don’t try to be! You will likely only be discouraged and fail.
I suspect electrical engineering will be much more in wide demand in the future than computer engineering. You could focus on something combining both, like telecommunications or satellite or data centers infrastructure as these are combined disciplines which are growing in demand.
Being thorough, well organized, and driven to completion will be the successful trait no matter what you do. FOMO is a trap for young minds. Competence and capable will be the most desired skill whichever technology used.
Good luck!
> If my father were here, I'd ask him. He'd find the best path for me, and I'd trust that it was truly the best.
you have to find your own path because YOU are responsible for your own life.